12/09/09–At writers' workshop this afternoon, we had excellent discussion and help. One member, writing an exciting novel, is very good with dialogue.  However, she read 8 pages of "talking heads."  What was so valuable to her about the workshop was that another member, reading his manuscript, had a "picture" for every speaker.  That does not mean each person was described, but a description of the action and background of each scene was included.  As soon as we pointed out this difference to the "talking heads" writer, she saw immediately what she needs to do.

Another writer who has an interesting modern fantasy  (hero and friends are challenged by a dare to steal food items from a store) wrote his entire chapter in simple declarative sentences: subject, verb, object is the alignment of every sentence.  He says "Gordon reached for the can of tomatoes. . ." "He put the can into the grocery basket."  He needed to start some of the sentences with something like "Reaching for the can of tomatoes, Gordon. . ."

I confused listeners by being inconsistent with naming the heroine.  After first writing my story long ago, I decided the heroine's name should be changed from Mary to Claire.  I thought I had found every reference to Mary and changed it to Claire but I had failed.  One of my listeners said "You brought Mary into the story without telling us who she is."  I  had read the old name without realizing I'd left that name twice in the Ms where it should have been chnaged to Claire.

So it goes.  Help for us all at every meeting!–Willma.